That time of year has arrived. The calendar turned to June 1st and, in response, magazines, newspapers and all types of shows from The View to the ABC morning news began to hand down lists of "Beach Reads" for us to run out and purchase. While the definition of Beach Read is fuzzy, the basic idea centers on popular fiction softcover books that are easy to read, easy to carry and somewhat easy to forget. The latter suggests being named a Beach Read is a negative thing. Depends. These books tend to generate buzz and big sales. Not bad. After all, not every book needs to be Pulitzer bound and some, like The Men I Didn't Marry, appear to recognize that fact and embrace it.
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The Men I Didn't Marry begins with a decidedly unfunny premise - the end of a marriage. Hallie and Bill Pierpont drop their youngest, Emma, off at college. Hallie dreams of a new life with her husband of 21 years. One focused on them as a couple instead of them as a mom and dad. Bill has other ideas. Before the keys are in the ignition in the college parking lot, Bill informs Hallie that his dreams for the future include a trade-in to a younger version named Ashlee, his personal trainer.
Enter Hallie Lawrence. After a good bit of crying and a few days of hiding, Hallie is ready to drop her married name and move forward with her new dating life by going backwards and reconnecting with the men she dated before marriage. The what-did-I-miss premise is a smart one. Who hasn't wondered what direction his or her life would have taken had different choices been made, especially when, like Hallie, one of those roads not taken leads to Eric, #277 on the list of the world's richest people. One of the downfalls of the book, however, is that this "what if" game begins almost simultaneously with Hallie's separation. Hallie wallows in her home for a short time and dives into the deep end of a family-sized bag of oreos, but her mourning never grows deeper. The superficial touch and the lack of a burning anger one would expect to accompany the loss of a two-decades-old marriage keep the book light but too shallow.
The cursory treatment of the subject matter may be what qualifies The Men I Didn't Marry as a fun Beach Read. The focus here is not on loss or revenge. Despite some of Bill's more insipid comments, Hallie does work up the same palpable level of rage the reader does for his idiocy. In one of his finer moments near the end of the book Bill says: "I don't understand it, Hallie. We were married for years. I like you. Why do you get so threatened just because I'm going out with other women?" Hallie refrains from shoving him into traffic even though you want her to do so.
Bill is not your average loser suffering from a bout of midlife anxiety. He is just a clueless loser, plain and simple. The sense, however, is that the severity of his loserness only surfaced once the children were safely tucked away at college, which adds to the confusion over Hallie's lackof a stronger reaction. Bill's obvious imperfections contrast with the children's near perfection. Adam and Emma support their mom to the extent they follow her on a Thanksgiving vacation so that she will not be alone. Little do they know mom has long moved past mourning so that their presence interferes with her new dating plans.
The loss of a seemingly satisfying, even ideal, life on the cusp of starting a new and exciting chapter quickly gets lost in Hallie's adventures with the men of her past. In the ultimate female fantasy, the men all remember her and profess continued interest. The Men I Didn't Marry follows Hallie as she dates, meets up with a parade of big-name actors and figures out what she wants from life. Halie's adventures are funny in a make-you-smile-and-chuckle sort of way. Along with her good friend Bellini (yes, Bellini), Hallie leads an active single life most twenty-something females would envy. Included in that is a fling with Kevin, a scuba-diving photographer.
Despite all of this dating Hallie does not find perfection in the past or rush into a new perfect future. She comes to understand she deserves better than Bill. Who that will be is the question...but the sense always is that there will be a someone else. While this strikes against the modern-day don't-need-a-man-to-be-happy mantra, the reality is not so bold here as to be distracting. And, in a smart choice by the authors, except for a few cosmetic changes, Hallie stays true to who she is while she seeks out a more satisfying life.
Authors Janice Kaplan and Lynn Schnurnberger - bestselling authors of Mine Are Spectacular! and The Botox Diaries - excel at creating Beach Reads. Like its predecessors, The Men I Didn't Marry is poignant, funny and charming. What it lacks in depth and realism, it makes up for with entertainment value. This is the book you grab right after you put on the suntan lotion. The type you race through with a few laughs while lounging on the beach. Then forget by the time you pack up the car to return home. Definitely not perfect but potentially right if what you want is light, fast-paced and maybe even a bit silly.
